The End of an Era

October 3, 2008

Dear Family,

Sorry to be the bearer of sad news, but Aunt Elise died this morning about 3:00 am. She was mom's oldest sister, ten years older than mom, I think, so she was 88 years old. It feels like the end of an era, to me. First we lost Grandma Johnson eight years ago. Then Aunt Elise's husband, Uncle Eddie died, then this summer Aunt Ejvor's husband, Uncle Leo. Our family is fading away.

So is dad, I'm afraid. We pick him up every morning and drive him to his house, where he sits in a chair all day while mom feeds and cares for him, then we take him back to the rest home in the evening. Most of the time he hardly seems to notice what is going on.

The other day I tried to talk to dad as I drove him to mom's house. He just stared out the window, not looking at anything, just forward. My heart broke as I looked at his profile. It has changed so much over the past few months. His cheeks are sunken, his eyes are hollow, and there is no spark of recognition left in them.

“Where is dad?” I couldn't help wonder as I drove. Is his spirit still there, trapped in his body? I suppose so, because he would be dead otherwise. Just the same, I couldn't help wonder what, if anything, his spirit was thinking and doing while his mind was vacant. Would he know, sometime after he dies, what went on around him now?

“I love you, dad,” I told him through my tears. “You were the best dad any girl ever had, and I love you so much! If you can hear me, wherever you are now, I sure want you to know how lucky I know I am to have had you for my father, and how thankful I am to you for all the things you taught me, all the things you did for me, and for loving me.”

I couldn't go on after that. I had to pull myself together so I could drive straight and not run into anything. I don't know if dad heard me or not. He never gave any sign of it. But I know that someday, someplace after we have both left this world far behind, I will get to tell him again how much I love him. And I know that each of you will have that same chance. We are a forever family, sealed to each other for eternity. Just because we are apart now, and dad's mind is far away, doesn't change anything. Thank goodness for the blessings of the priesthood, and for the power it has to seal our family forever.

I love you, all.

Aunt Gale