God is in Control

I have had the privilege of knowing a number of amazing people in my life, people who taught me how to live, how to love, and even how to die. Like Wanda Strebeck.

Wanda lived in the same ward as me. I knew who she was, but we served in different organizations, so I didn't really know her personally until one day I was asked to give a bread-baking demonstration. It was fun, the bread turned out fine, but when I cut it for everyone to taste I made a mess. The only knife I owned was dull and old, and it squished and tore the bread. I laughed it off and didn't think much about it, so I was really surprised when Wanda showed up at my door a few days later.

“Wanda,” I greeted her, “what are you doing here?”

“I've brought you a present,” she said with a big grin on her face. Then she pulled a brand new, heavy duty stainless steel cutting knife from the sack she was carrying and handed it to me. “You make the delicious bread,” she told me sincerely, “so I just had to get you a good knife for you to cut it with.”

I was floored. To think she would go out and buy me a knife, but that's just the kind of person Wanda was.

It wasn't long after that I learned that Wanda had cancer. I felt awful. How could something like that happen to such a wonderful person? It was worse, though, a couple of months later when I learned that the doctor's had told Wand there was nothing more they could do, and she was dying.

The news spread through our ward like wild fire. Everyone was devastated. That weekend there was an adult party at our ward. No one expected Wanda to come, but she did. At first I wondered what I should say to her? Should I act like there was nothing different and just ignore the cancer? Should I tell her how sorry I was? What could I say? I think everyone at the party had the same questions, and felt kind of awkward, not knowing what to do. But Wanda knew. She moved from group to group, sitting with each couple, breaking the ice, helping us get back to normal. I learned so much from her that night.

Wanda came to church every single Sunday, never missing a meeting, the whole time she was sick. In our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the first Sunday of every month we fast, then have a testimony meeting for church. Every Fast Sunday Wanda got up and bore her testimony. She had such faith in Jesus Christ and His gospel. The week before she died Wanda really took a turn for the worse. Unable to walk anymore, her husband pushed her in a wheel chair, but she still came to church. It was the first Sunday of the month, Fast Sunday, and she asked to have a microphone brought down to her so she could bear her testimony one more time.

“My son says I look like I'm in “melt down”, Wanda joked with a shaky voice as she tried to talk loud enough for all of us to hear. “But my grandchildren call the old lady folds of skin flapping under my arms my angel wings.” Then she bore her testimony to us. It was the strongest testimony of Jesus Christ that I have ever heard. She knew... she knew! Wanda passed away the following Friday, leaving us so blessed.

At her funeral,Wanda's son told us that his mother knew the Lord just as surely before she died as she knew Him when she met Him on the other side of the veil.

“My mother had an indisputable testimony that God is in control,” he son assured us. “That doesn't mean she thought God causes bad things to happen to people. She knew people have their agency, and sometimes they make stupid decisions or choices that have consequences which are hard to take. Still, God is in control. If He thought something would harm us or not be a blessing in the end, He would change it. Even if someone's poor choices put another person in danger, if God knew it wouldn't end up OK he would step in stop the consequences from happening. He is in control. Sure, my mother got cancer, but the Lord could have healed her if he thought that was best. She died, and I hate it, but I know someday I will understand why it was Mom's time to go. For now, I just have to trust that we are in God's hands, and that all things will work together for our good. I know my mother knew that.”

Wanda taught me how to graciously leave this life. Her faith never wavered, and her smile never left her lips. I learned so much from watching her die, and I hope when it comes my time, I will be able to do it as sweetly as she did.