The hardest part about being a wife and mother is watching the people I love make mistakes and poor choices; knowing what they should do to be happy, but having them ignore me. If only they would listen, they would be so much happier and our whole family would have peace.
I don't know why I was blessed so young with an understanding of the principles of forgiveness, charity, and service. I know as a kid I didn't forgive or have much empathy for my little brother. We fought like cats and dogs over the TV, what kind of ice cream mom should buy, and everything else kids argue over. But somewhere along the way between childhood and adulthood I absorbed the teachings of Jesus, and I believed them. I certainly wasn't perfect, but I knew I would be happier if did nice things for someone when I was sad; that I would find peace if I forgave offenses and didn't hold a grudge; that if I looked behind the actions I would always discover a reason for people's behaviors that I could understand, pity, and wish to help. Why didn't other people know this?
I tried to explain these principles to Moe as he dealt with the kids, but he refused to listen. He felt like I was telling him what to do, “lecturing him”, he called it, and it infuriated him that I wouldn't take his side and back him up, whatever he did. He didn't understand when I tried to tell him it was better to be nice than to be right.
I tried to teach the children the same principles, and I'm glad to say they listened to me sometimes, and they really did try, but it was a long, hard process, and had to be started all over again the next time something went wrong.
Maybe the lessons I was supposed to learn were patience, long-suffering, and unconditional love. It's funny, but the hardest time to forgive and have charity is when you are trying to teach someone else how to have it.
Anyway, one day I was really down. It had been a trying week, and I felt like I was sinking into a pit of despair. All around me people were cross and cranky, hurting the ones they loved by being stubborn and selfish. The thing that got to me the most was when someone hurt someone else. I hated to see anyone feel bad, and I hated to see people be mean. If only I could step inside them for just a moment and make them be nice, make them be understanding, make them realize they were hurting themselves with their behavior, and make them stop.
That morning I sat down at the kitchen table after everyone was gone. I hadn't studied the scriptures yet, so I picked up my Bible with a prayer in my heart.
“Heavenly Father, please can you show me what I should do,” I prayed. “Please, help me find something in the scriptures that can teach me how to do a better job teaching my family, or that can give me peace and comfort.”
Many times in the past, when I was really in need, I'd opened my scriptures and found the exact answer I was searching for, so I knew if it was the Lord's will He would show me something today. Still, I was prepared to search and study and work to find something that would help me.
My Bible fell open to Ezekiel 11. I had previously highlighted verses 19 and 20, so I began reading there.
19 “And I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart out of their flesh, and will give them an heart of flesh:
20 “That they may walk in my statutes and keep mine ordinances, and do them: and they shall be my people, and I will be their God.”
My heart leaped within me as I read these words. It was as if the Lord stood beside me and put His arm around my shoulders and whispered, “It will be OK, Gale. I will take care of things. You're family will learn, they will understand, they will change. Don't worry any more.”
I love Heavenly Father so much! I love Jesus, my savior and redeemer. They are so good to me, and give me the hope, the strength, the grace to go on. Thank you, Father!
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