Alyssa and Matt

Alyssa was one of the sweetest teenagers you ever met. She never complained, she never got into trouble, and she still liked me. What more could a mother ask? Mind you, she had her difficulties, like having to deal with a step-dad who seemed to constantly give her grief, but she dealt with them with the grace and poise of a twenty-year-old. I was so proud of her.

Alyssa loved track, but she developed a pain in her hip and the doctor advised she stop running. Thank goodness swimming didn't bother her. She was a good swimmer, and a fantastic diver. All through high school she was on the diving team, and she just got better and better. It was awe inspiring to watch her do flips, handstands, and somersaults from a diving board, somehow contorting her body into a perfect, vertical entrance into the smooth water. She made it look so easy, but it wasn't.

Alyssa was a friendly person, always smiling, laughing, and talking, and everyone loved her, maybe a little too much. Alyssa had a special friend, Matt, who we all liked. He seemed to love her, too. She still dated other boys, but for the big dates she went with Matt. They went to senior prom together, and she looked just like a princess.

Being a good swimmer gave Alyssa an edge when it came to finding summer jobs. She was a shoe-in for swimming pool life-guard. She looked so cute, sitting on the the high chair in her speed-o swimming suit and dark glasses. I wish I looked so cute in a swimming suit!

Our neighbors had a swimming pool, and they graciously invited us to swim whenever we wanted. Summer days invariably included at least an hour in their back-yard, relaxing in the cool water under a hot sun. Kami and Krissi loved the water just as much as the rest of us, and soon learned to swim well. Once in awhile I would take them across town to go swimming at the public pool where Alyssa worked, and they really loved that.

A year and a half after graduating, Matt was called to serve a two year mission for our church in Brazil. That was hard on Alyssa. Not officially engaged, she still intended to wait for Matt and marry him when he came home. The only problem was, the other young men didn't understand this, and Alyssa was so friendly and sociable that she attracted boys like flies. Within a few weeks she was dating a new young man, and he was serious.

Alyssa managed to fend him off, deciding it was time to leave home and go away to school. That summer she moved to Utah. I missed her so much, but loved getting letters and talking to her on the phone. It always seemed to me I got closer to my kids when they moved away, perhaps distance does make the heart grow fonder.

The problem was, it sometimes also makes it more forgetful. That fall Alyssa met a nice young man, coincidentally named Steve, that she soon fell for. I thought it was kind of funny at first.

“Steve?” I asked her on the phone when she called to check in one afternoon. “What's wrong with my daughters? First Linnea and Holly both married Jason's, now you're dating a guy with the same name as your little brother? Don't you guys have any imagination?”

I really didn't think anything would come of their relationship. Alyssa had been so in love with Matt, and he was such a good guy, I was sure she'd get over her Steve and end up waiting for Matt. But by Christmas they were talking about marriage, and Alyssa brought Steve home with her to meet the family.

He was nice, and he seemed genuinely in love with Alyssa, but he wasn't Matt.

Over the next few months Alyssa called with updates. It seemed that Steve was having a hard time committing, perhaps that's why Alyssa was so interested in him. You know, the thrill of the chase kind of thing.

She neglected writing Matt about her new romance, at first just skirting around the issue and eventually just not writing him any more. He was crushed, of course, when he finally learned about it. I felt so bad for him.

In the end, though, Alyssa began to see that her relationship with Steve wasn't going where she wanted. Eventually she decided to come home. I was relieved, and reassured. I'd been so certain she would marry Matt that it just seemed right.

Matt came home from his mission just a few days before Christmas, 2004. They got engaged on Christmas, and married two months later, just before Valentines. It was perfect, and I was so happy for them, plus I had another son-in-law to love and be proud of, one not named Jason.