Trying to Be a Wife and a Teacher

Being married was a lot of fun, most of the time.  I graduated from ASU a month after we got married and got my Arizona State Teaching Certificate at the same time.  It was wonderful to be all done with school, and I did not want to ever go back.  Sheldon had other ideas.

It seemed strange to me that we could have such similar backgrounds and yet have such different ideas.  We were both from active LDS (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) families.  We each had five brothers and sisters, our families lived in the same neighborhood, we graduated from the same high school, even the same year, and yet we had such different ideas.  It was odd.

Three weeks after we got married the boys in our ward were invited to participate in a regional softball tournament in Prescott.  The tournament began on Thursday afternoon, so they boys planned to go up Wednesday night and stay through Saturday.   I was in my last week of college, with my last test Thursday afternoon.  We didn't have much money, but it sounded like fun to ride up to Prescott with my family on Friday and watch the final games on Saturday.

Sheldon's dad was one of the coaches, and Sheldon had helped on and off throughout the season.  His dad was taking the boys up on Wednesday.  "You can ride up with us," my father-in-law told Sheldon on Sunday afternoon as we sat around their dinner table, visiting after Sunday dinner. 

"Great," Sheldon agreed excitedly.  "What time are you going?"

I looked at him in amazement.  I'd thought his dad was kidding when he offered to take him with the team.  Surely he didn't want to leave me home alone after we'd only been married such a short time?

"I have to take my final on Thursday," I reminded Sheldon quietly, squeezing his hand under the table.

"I know," Sheldon replied offhandedly.  "You can ride up with your mom and dad on Friday afternoon."

I raised my eyebrows at him in surprise.  "Why don't you just wait and come up with me at the same time?" I asked.

"Then I couldn't help dad out," he replied impatiently. 

"Right," my father-in-law concurred.  "The games start Thursday morning."

"He can stay with us in our motel room until you get there," my mother-in-law added, as if that took care of everything.

Nothing more was said at the dinner table, but I was sure shocked his family would think it was OK for him to leave his new bride.

Another thing we didn't see eye to eye on was whether I should work.  Sheldon's mom was a stay at home mother, like my mom, but she had worked a few years earlier when their family had some financial difficulties.  It soon became apparent that Sheldon thought I should get a job teaching school now that I had my certificate.  He was working for his dad at his print shop, and he didn't make very much money.  I would have agreed to earning the living if Sheldon was going to college and working on a degree or something, but he didn't have any such plans, so I didn't see why I shouldn't stay home and be a housewife. 

Sheldon decided he would try going to MCC if I would get a job so he didn't have to work, so I submitted my resume to a couple of different school districts, but it was late in the summer and I wasn't very optimistic about getting hired.  In the mean-time I started working as a secretary again.  I got a call from the Gilbert Public School District to come in for an interview one Friday afternoon a week after their schools had started.  I went to the interview wondering why they even wanted to talk to me.  I was interviewed by two elementary principals.  I didn't think they were very impressed with me.  One principal asked what I would do if a bunch a big sixth graders started a fight out on the playground.  Before I even had a chance to answer the other principal turned to him and said, "She wouldn't have a problem with that.  She's not a tiny little old lady who they could push around, you know.  I bet she could handle any group of boys."  That made me feel better, but I still felt pretty insecure.

You can imagine how amazed I was when the phone range that evening and it was the school district telling me they would like to hire me to teach sixth grade.  For heavens sake!  That was the one grade I really did not want to teach!  Apparently there were too many sixth graders that year, and the district had finally decided they could split the classes and make another room.  I was scared to death.  First of all, I had no experience with sixth graders.  I had been a teachers aid in forth and second grade, I'd done my student teaching in third, but I hadn't been in sixth grade since I was a student myself.  Second, these kids had already gone to school for a whole week, and now they were pulling them out and putting them into a new room.  There were not enough text books for my kids, I didn't have any teachers manuals, and we had no supplies.  The other teachers tried to help, but I sure felt like a fish out of water, with no idea how to do whatever it was I supposed to do. 

That was a difficult few months.  I was still trying to get used to being a new wife, I wanted to spend my time decorating our house, learning how to cook, and being a housewife.  Instead I was trying to learn how to teach sixth grade and feeling very inadequate and insecure.  On top of that, I started feeling nauseous and really tired a couple of months later, and discovered that I was expecting a baby. 

The school district had only given me a six month contract, intending to extend it for the other six months in January.  Our baby wasn't due until the end of May, but I would have had to teach all the way up until she was born, which I really didn't want to do, so in December I decided not to renew my contract and let someone else have my class. It was selfish, I know, and I've regretted giving up so easily, but I really didn't enjoy teaching and felt like I wasn't doing a good job.  I also resented working all day while Sheldon went to one or two classes at MCC, then sat around watching TV the rest of the day until I came home to do his homework for him.  He had already decided he didn't want to go back to school the next semester and had arranged to start working at a local stereo center the beginning of January.   So although I felt guilty about quitting, I sure did enjoy staying home and being a housewife.