Looking for the Good

I learned lots of interesting things in college, not the least of which was the fact that I love learning.  One thing I discovered, though, is that teaching how to be a teacher is harder than you might think.  I took lots of classes designed to do that, and I learned lots of facts and terms, but the actual art of teaching I learned before college, when I first began teaching Primary for church.

In those days we had monthly Primary Inservice Meetings, and it was in that setting that I learned the most valuable skills.  Every Wednesday afternoon during the following month I had the opportunity to practice what I learned with my little Primary class.  I taught the six year-olds for a year, then the eight year old class for a couple of years.   I was also the Junior Sunday School Chorister on Sunday mornings, leading the singing time for all the children between the ages of three and eight.  That was lot of kids to keep control of, and I really appreciated the skills I learned at our Inservice meetings.

One of the most important things I learned was how to help children be good because they wanted to be, not because they were afraid of getting in trouble.

I learned that when a child was disruptive, acted out, teased, or didn't pay attention, instead of following my first inclination to reprimand and tell the student what I wanted him to do, I should find another child who was doing something good and praise him.  By ignoring the first child's negative behavior I didn't reinforce it by giving him the attention he sought.  By praising the second child's good behavior I did reinforce that and encouraged him to keep up the good work, but also silently showed the first child that he would get the attention he wanted if he also had good behavior.  It was amazing how quickly kids caught on and tried to do whatever would get them noticed.  And instead of being the teacher who was always telling kids how bad they were, I was the one who praised them and made them feel good.

Another rule I learned, and tried to remember to use at home, was to point out at least 10 positive things a person is doing before pointing out one negative thing they need to change.  That's hard to do.  It means you have to be actively looking for the good all the time, and that usually takes care of the problem before you even get a chance to bring up the behavior you want them to stop.

Like I said, that's hard to remember to do, since we tend to notice bad behavior and take for granted good behavior.  This reminded me of my favorite Disney movie when I was a child, Polyanna.  We went to the theater to see Polyanna when it first came out, then mom bought the sound track, and I listened to it every Sunday afternoon.   Soon I knew the dialogue word for word, and can still quote most of it fifty years later.  I loved that movie, but I don't think it was the acting, the scenery, the costumes, or even the plot that caught and held my attention.  It was the very simple principle at the core of the story.  "When you look for the bad in mankind, expecting to find it, you surely will."

That simple premise caught and held my attention when I was a little girl, and it still rings true today.  I can find a million things wrong with every thing and every person I meet, but when I take time to look, the good is there, too.  And life is so much nicer when I choose to see the good around me and have a positive attitude.