Looking back, I've got to admit I wondered sometimes if I really knew what I was doing when I accepted Sheldon's proposal of marriage. Did we rush things too fast, did I let myself get swept along with the tide, did I not pray hard enough, or wait for an answer? Thank goodness I kept a journal. I went back and read it again the other day, just to remind myself how things really happened, and was surprised to remember just how hard I worked getting an answer before I said yes.
After coming home from our Easter Holiday at the cabin, Sheldon was ready to get engaged. Monday night we talked on the phone for a long time, reviewing the reasons why we should get married, and also talking about the concerns I had. Sheldon suggested we fast and pray, and I readily agreed. I had already been doing that myself, but I liked that he wanted to join me.
I knew there was more to getting an answer to prayer than just asking if I should marry Sheldon. I knew I needed to think it through, analyze all the positives and negatives, then make what I thought would be a good decision and take that to the Lord for confirmation. So I worked on that for the next couple of days. By Wednesday I knew that I wanted to marry Sheldon, and I thought it was a good idea. So I prayed to ask Heavenly Father if my decision was right. I didn't get hit over the head with a "YES, MARRY SHELDON," answer, but I felt happy and good. There were no anxious moments wondering if I had made the right choice or not, or scared feelings or anything negative at all, so I decided that was my answer. Heavenly Father must think it was OK for me to marry him.
I told Sheldon on Thursday, we had agreed not to see each other while we were trying to make our own decisions. He was ecstatic! He had known all along that he thought he should marry me, he was just waiting for me to make up my mind. We hung out on Thursday evening, and Friday night he took me for a picnic on the desert.
As soon as we got there Sheldon grabbed my hand and said, "Come with me."
I'd figured something was up, but I wasn't sure how he was going to do it. Quickly ducking into the car, he grabbed something out of the glove box, then pulled me along to a secluded spot, sat me down on a fallen mesquite limb, and knelt down in front of me.
"Will you marry me?" he asked, opening a little ring box and showing me the sweet little engagement ring nestled inside.
"Sure," I smiled, and that was that. The ring wasn't my real engagement ring, it was one his older brother had used a few years earlier, but Sheldon wanted to do the proposal right, with a ring and everything, then we could go and pick out my real ring later. It was so sweet.
From that moment on I had no qualms. I even went back in my journal to the entries when I had been pining away over Gene and crossed them out, writing in silly little notes about how wrong I was thinking I was in love with him. I guess girls can be pretty sappy sometimes, at least I was.
I was just finishing my final full semester at ASU, doing my student teaching. Once that was done I only had a few more summer classes to take, and I'd have my BA in Elementary Education. Because of my schedule, we decided we should get married the end of June, so we could have the Fourth of July holiday to go on our honeymoon.
Mom and Dad and the rest of my family were not surprised when we gave them the news. Soon mom and I were in the middle of wedding preparations, choosing a pattern for my dress, deciding on colors, picking out a cake, and all the stuff that goes along with planning a wedding. Mom made my dress, and I thought it was lovely. I'd taught myself how to decorate cakes and really wanted to make my own, but everyone worked together to convince me that I wouldn't have time for that. Sheldon's mom knew a lady in Lehi who made cakes, so one afternoon mom and I went over to see her. I took my cake decorating books with me, so I could show her the cake I wanted. Talk about irony! I wonder what I would have done if I had known then that 16 years later I would marry the fellow who lived next door to her? I'm glad I didn't meet Moe then. He would have been 32, an old man to my way of thinking, with two little boys he was trying to raise and bushy strawberry blond hair and a huge mustache. I think I would have run the other direction!
Our reception turned out just as lovely as I had hoped. Mom and Dad worked so hard, turning our church cultural hall into a beautiful garden complete with a pond and fountain surrounded by hundreds of potted plants and ferns they borrowed from our neighborhood nursery. I had chosen green and yellow for my colors, and I thought everything turned out beautiful. My only disappointment was my bouquet, which was bigger and lovelier than anyone could have asked for. Except for me. The previous year I had worked as a secretary for a landscape architect who's family owned a florist shop. I got my bouquet from them. I chose a very simple bouquet, made from lots and lots of greenery with just a few white stefanotis sprays and a couple of yellow roses. It was simple, elegant, and cheap. The florists were so sweet, trying to make something extra special for me because they knew me, that they added two dozen more roses to my bouquet. It was lovely, but not what I'd wanted. Oh well.
Sheldon and I got married in the Mesa Arizona Temple on a Thursday morning. I'd always intended to get married in the Temple, it is the only place on earth where a couple can be sealed together for eternity, not just "until death do you part". I was so happy. Mom and Dad and Grandma Johnson and Grandpa Russell were there, and all of my aunts and uncles and Sheldon's big family, too. We took pictures outside afterward, in the hot Arizona sun, and then later that night had our reception. I could not have asked for a better start to my happily ever after. It's funny how little we really know about what will actually make us happy. Ten year later I thought if I could have looked into the future and seen all the heart ache and misery that was coming, I'd have killed myself then to escape it. I'm glad I couldn't see what was coming, but if I could have seen twenty or thirty years into the future it wouldn't have been so bad. I heard a statement once, in the movie "The Last Unicorn", of all places, that has stuck with me. "There are no happy endings, because nothing ever ends." You know what? That's right. I'm still in the middle of my happily ever after, and I'm loving it!
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