Our Honeymoon

Physical intimacy between a man and woman is part of the glue that holds a marriage together.  It binds us together, gives us a way to express our love, and is one of the few experiences that we share between ourselves and no one else.

Natural man would follow the animal world, sharing intimacy when available and then going off to do his own thing, leaving women to care for themselves and their children, if there wasn't a law stating physical intimacy should be shared only between a man and woman who have committed to stay together no matter what.  The Lord, knowing that families need both protectors and providers as well as nurturers,  commanded us to be physically intimate only in marriage.  For most of history, governments have recognized the necessity of that commandment and made it their law.

Satan, knowing that we will cast aside sacred things if he can get us to laugh at, make light of, and regard them as being old fashioned and no longer applicable, has spent years degrading the sanctity of marriage and encouraging us to take physical intimacy off it's pedestal.  He persuades us that talking about intimacy openly, turning it into the butt of our jokes, and splashing it across bill boards, TV and movie screens, and computer monitors is the sophisticated, healthy thing to do.  He knows that if he can turn intimacy from being a sacred experience shared solely between two people and kept to themselves into an everyday, laughed about at the water cooler experience he can talk us into thinking it doesn't matter how, when, or who we do it with.

OK.  So after my soliloquy, what's that got to do with this story?  Well, thirty-five years ago I had never met people who thought intimacy was something to joke about.  I knew they were out there, that's why our family didn't go see R rated movies and I was careful what books I read, but I thought only movie stars and people who lived in Hollywood had those morals.  Not people who lived in our small, Christian, totally wholesome little town.  And certainly not people who belonged to my Church. 

Because I had never been around people who made light of sacred things it took me awhile to realize just what was going on.  I was embarrassed when I heard my in-laws joking about their honeymoon, but I didn't recognize it as a warning sign that they had a different set of values than me. 

All of my life I had dreamed of going to our cabin on my honeymoon.  The cabin was my happy place, where I'd rather be than anyplace else in the world, even Disneyland.  At the cabin I could sit on the front porch and smell the pines, listen to the birds, and feel the soft breeze while I embroidered a picture or read a book or just gazed up the hill in front of me, watching white puffy clouds drift behind tall ponderosa pines, against a backdrop of blue sky.  When I got tired of sitting I could run down the hill to swing on the tire swing, climb the tree house, pick strawberries from Grandpa's garden, or ramble under the pear and apple trees in the orchard.  If I wanted I could walk down to the creek and relax under the huge cottonwoods, skip rocks across the smooth water, or search for wild flowers down in my secret garden.  When that got boring I could hike up or down the creek, swimming in the water holes, fishing at the crossing, and just enjoying the absolute quiet and peace of being in the mountains.  To me, the cabin was perfect.

My new husband thought going to the cabin on our honeymoon was a great idea, too, but for different reasons.  He had been raised on his parents story of their honeymoon.  They had spent all their money going to Las Vegas after they were married, and regretted it ever after because they never left their hotel room.  The laughed every time they told that story, saying they should have saved their money and gone to a motel close to their house.  I thought they were kind of crude, and wished they would stop telling that story.  Sheldon figured, why spend money on a motel since we can go to the cabin for free? 

Sheldon's family paid for our wedding night in a nice hotel as our wedding present.  The following morning we checked out and drove to the cabin.  We stopped at a gas station on the outskirts of town to get gas and sodas, then settled down for the drive.  I was excited to be going to the cabin, but it wasn't long before I realized something; I couldn't think of anything to say.  It was strange.  Up until that moment Sheldon and I had never had a hard time talking.  For the past two months every minute had been spent planning our wedding, but now that it was over what were we supposed to talk about?  I felt really weird, knowing that I was sitting next to my husband, MY HUSBAND, and I really didn't know him.  Bizarre.

It felt stranger, still, leaving the main highway and driving through the forest on the dirt road to the cabin.  It was a very secluded spot, but I had never been worried before.  I'd always known dad would take care of us, whether we got a flat tire, ran off the side of the road, or met up with a bear.  Somehow, Sheldon didn't exude the same kind of confidence as dad, and I was almost scared.

Getting to the cabin calmed me down.  I was home, in my happy place, and nothing could interfere with that joy.  It took awhile to unpack and make the bed, put the food in the refrigerate and cupboards, and stuff like that, so the first afternoon and evening passed happily enough.  But by the middle of the second morning I realized we were in trouble. 

Sheldon had been sure we wouldn't need any entertainment on our honeymoon, but he was wrong.  Since we didn't have TV at the cabin, the only thing to do inside once we got up was to make something to eat.  That done, what else could we do?  Sheldon didn't enjoy reading, so that was out.  It wasn't much fun to play Rook or Yahtzee or any of our other board games with just the two of us, so that didn't last long.  He wasn't interested in going on a hike and he didn't care about exploring around the cabin or going fishing, so the only thing left was to drive up the creek to our favorite swimming hole.  That was fun, but Sheldon had this idea that we were on our honeymoon, so we should go skinny dipping.  No way!  First of all, it was the Fourth of July weekend, and even though we were in a very secluded spot other people did come and camp on the creek and they were sure to find us.  Second, I wouldn't go skinny dipping even if we were the only two people in the world!  I knew I sounded like a prude, but really?  He wanted me to be naked in a public place in the middle of the afternoon? 

We went swimming at the swimming hole for about an hour, me in my swimming suit, but we both got tired of that pretty soon.  You know what?  Two people can have a lot of fun together, but it can also get mighty lonesome after awhile.  We went back to the cabin and I tried to make a special dinner for us, but the potatoes didn't cook right and fried steak just doesn't taste as good as barbecued, so it didn't turn out like I'd hoped. 

By the next morning Sheldon was tired of our whole adventure.  I discovered then that he was a city boy, through and through, and he needed the excitement of restaurants, theaters, bowling alleys, or at least TV to keep him entertained.  We finally packed up and came home from our honeymoon a day early.  I was bummed out, to say the least.  When we got home Sheldon called his brother, which embarrassed me even more because now his family knew we'd come home early, and talked him into meeting us at a park to play tennis.  I didn't like tennis, especially when it's 110 degrees outside.  So ended our honeymoon, kind of a let down after all the dreaming and planning we'd done, but oh well.  Life goes on, doesn't it?