Homesick

I graduated from High School when I was 17 years old.  I felt very grown up and mature, and frightened and insecure at the same time.

On the one hand, I was proud of myself for making it through 13 years of school, for learning so much and for doing so well.  On the other hand, I really really really didn't want to go to college.  I was scared silly, and I didn't feel nearly old enough to associate with University students, to be able to move around campus and understand where I should be, what classes I should take, and how to prepare for becoming a teacher.  Plus, I was just plain tired of school and I didn't want to have to go anymore.
 
The week after school got out the girls in my ward went to girls camp.  I had been happy all spring, knowing I was not going to have to go to camp since I would officially be out of Young Women's once I graduated.  Then, at the last minute, one of the Young Women advisers got sick and couldn't be a cabin mom, and in desperation they turned to me and asked if I would like to help?  Me?  Be a cabin mother?  Me tell the girls what to do and where to go and how to put on their skits and teach them my favorite songs and tell them stories?  Of course I wanted to do that!

So, although I was only one year older than some of the girls, I became a cabin mother and went to girls camp and had a blast!  I was paired with an older woman (ha, ha, she was probably in her 30's, but that seemed old to me) and we were cabin moms for the youngest girls from our ward.  They were sweet and anxious to do everything they were told.  I could easily remember being that age and the anxieties I felt; worrying about where I was supposed to go, being afraid I would get lost, and getting homesick and missing my family.  So I tried to be especially kind to the little girls who were having a hard time and we all got along well together. 

The week came and went before I knew it, and not once did I feel left out or afraid or homesick.  I congratulated myself as we were riding the bus home, thinking how grown up I had become, and assuming that I would never have to deal with being homesick again.  How wrong I was.

Two weeks after graduating my Uncle David and his family came down to visit.  Laurie, my cousin, had just graduated too.  Laurie was a month older than me, and we had been pen pals for years although we only saw each other once in a great while. 

Uncle David and his family stayed for a week, visiting us and grandma and grandpa and Aunt Melba's family.  The day before it was time for them to go back to Oregon Aunt Melba asked an amazing question.  Would I like to go back home with them and spend a week or two in Oregon, stopping with them on their way home to visit the World's Fair in Spokane, Washington?    Whoa!!!! I was sure mom and dad would say no, after all, flying me home from Oregon would cost an arm and a leg and we never did stuff like that.  But mom and dad took be into their bedroom and had a talk with me. 

"You just graduated from High School," mom began, looking me straight in the eye, "and we are very proud of the job you did and what a good girl you have always been.  We didn't get you anything very special for graduation, so if you would like to go to Oregon with Laurie, we can buy your return plane ticket for your graduation present."

Really?  I could actually get a chance to fly on an airplane?  All of my life I had wanted to fly.  I'd dreamed of how exciting that would be, how cool and sophisticated I would feel boarding an airplane, sitting in leather seats, being served pop and peanuts and dinner by a real stewardess, looking out the window and seeing the earth miles below me as I flew off to grand adventures somewhere else in the world besides boring old Arizona.    The previous spring Sky Harbor Airport had done a promotional for their new 747 Airplane, inviting the public to come for tours.  We had gone, and it had been so amazing to actually walk into a real airplane.  Now mom was saying that I could fly in one!  Of course I wanted to go!

So, before I even knew what was happening, Laurie was helping me pack one of dad's suitcases with all the clothes she thought I would need, I was hugging and kissing my family goodbye, and we were loading into the car with Howie, Laurie and I in the backseat and Aunt Melba, her dog, and Uncle David in the front. 

The ride was fun.  Laurie and I talked the whole way, and her little brother Howie wasn't nearly as annoying as my little brother Phillip.   Aunt Melba was a character and Uncle David was a sweetheart and it was fun traveling with them.  They did things differently than our family, like stopping at restaurants and snack shops all along the way, breaking up the monotony of the long trip. 

We drove all the way to Idaho before stopping.  I'd been through a portion of Idaho with our family a few years before and thought it was a lovely place, but the part of Idaho we were now in was flat, sagebrush covered desert, and I wasn't very impressed.  It was hot there, and Aunt Melba's sister's farmhouse, where we spent the night, didn't have air-conditioning.    Still, it was an adventure.  Laurie and I got to sleep in her older cousins bedroom because she was away at school.  She had a quote on her wall that impressed me so much I never forgot it.  It said,  "All that is necessary for the forces of evil to prevail in this world is for enough good men to do nothing."

The next day we drove the rest of the way up to Spokane, Washington.  We got there in the evening, and stopped at an A&W Root-beer restaurant to get supper.  I had a hamburger with onion rings and a root beer float, and it was delicious!  Boy!  Those guys knew how to live!

We checked into our hotel, then went over to start seeing the World's Fair.  It was so amazing!  The lights, the colors, and the sounds were overwhelming.  Uncle David told Laurie and I that we could go off by ourselves to enjoy the amusement park part of the fair.  There where ferris wheels and roller-coasters, and we each had our own spending money, so we started out to have a fun time! 

First we rode a roller-coaster.  It was fast a furious, and we laughed and laughed as we raced up and down.  I enjoyed the speed, but as we got off I noticed my stomach feeling a little queasy.  I could taste that darned hamburger and french fries all over again.

Swallowing, I followed Laurie over to the huge ferris wheel that lighted up the whole night sky.  It had little baskets hanging from it that we climbed into.  Each basket had it's own wheel, so we could spin as fast as we wanted as we rode around in a big circle.  One spin told me I'd had enough.  My stomach gurgled, I felt like there was an ocean wave inside of me, rising up, up, up, until it was ready to spill out.  I could hardly see, it felt like my eyes were swimming in water, but one glimpse at Laurie told me she wasn't doing any better than me.  I held onto the wheel tightly to keep the basket from turniing, and concentrated all my will power on making it through to the end of the ride.  As soon as the door opened we both tore out, ran across the park to the restrooms, and rushed in to find a place to throw up.  I have only thrown up a few times in my life, but I'll tell you what.  Throwing up A&W hamburgers', onion rings, and a root-beer floats is disgusting!

I felt better when my stomach was empty, but I didn't have any desire to waste any more of my hard earned money on rides.

We spent two days at the World's Fair and really enjoyed ourselves, then retraced our steps back down to Oregon and over to Lake Oswego, where Laurie lived.  Oregon is a beautiful place, but it sure was cold.  I suppose it was because I was so used to our dry Arizona heat, but I froze to death the whole time I was there.  Laurie had to lend me a sweater, even during the days when I was inside her house.  One day we went to the ocean and that night we went to a drive in theater to see the Poseidon Adventure.  It was rainy and wet as well as cold, and I was miserable the whole time. 

Another night Laurie took me to the Plush Pippin, a restaurant famous for it's delicious pies and a place where lots of LDS missionaries liked to eat.  Consequently, it was also the place where young teenage girls liked to hang out.  I was kind of hoping my big brother, Keith, would be there.  He ad been called to serve his mission in Oregon the previous February, and he was stationed in the Portland area.  He wasn't at the restaurant that night, but there were other missionaries that Laurie introduced me to, and I saw a new side to her.  Laurie was boy crazy.

It didn't take me more than a day or two to realize that, while we were traveling and enjoying the World's Fair, Laurie and I had lots of fun together.  But when we were just being normal we really didn't have that much in common.  It also didn't take me long to realize that I really missed my family and I was totally uncomfortable in someone else's home and environment.  Pretty soon I found myself getting lonelier and lonelier for home, and less and less happy being up in Oregon.

Sunday night mom and dad called to talk to me and see how I was doing.  Hearing mom's voice was the last straw, and I broke down and started to cry.  "Please, can I come home?" I whispered on the phone.  I didn't want to make Aunt Melba or Uncle David or Laurie feel bad, but I really didn't want to stay there any longer.

Mom talked to me for quite awhile, then she talked to Aunt Melba.  Laurie was beside herself.  She couldn't figure out why I would be so homesick or want to go home early, but Uncle David and Aunt Melba seemed to understand.  They finally came up with a plan, and mom bought me a ticket to fly home the following Wednesday.  Just knowing I was going home helped take away the sick feeling in my stomach, and I enjoyed the last two days I spent with Laurie, but I didn't want to change my mind and stay longer.

Wednesday morning Uncle David drove me to the airport, helped me check in, and then he and Laurie sat and waited with me until my flight was called.  I was nervous about flying all by myself, but way more excited that I was getting to fly on an actual airplane!  I felt sorry for messing up Laurie’s plans for the summer, but I was sure she would have lots of fun with her girl friends and her boy friends, so I wasn't really worried about her.  I was right, too.  By the end of the summer she had met a new young man and was engaged.

The plane trip home was amazing!  The captain told us to look out our windows as we flew over Crater Lake, and it was beautiful!  I had an hour and a half stop over in LA, so I was able to get off the plane and at least look around the gift shops there.  I discovered that flying was a lot like riding in a bus; just sitting in a seat with nothing particular to do; but I could look out the window and watch the clouds pass, and I enjoyed every minute of the adventure.  And then I was home, getting off the plane and feeling the blast of hot, dry Arizona air hit me like a ton of bricks.  And it was wonderful!  Best of all was seeing Mom and the little girls waiting for me in the terminal, hugging them and kissing them and knowing that I was home.

So much for being  grown up and never getting homesick again.  I guess I had a few more years ahead of me before I would be that mature, or perhaps I never would get that grown up at all.  I sure wish I could see mom and dad right now and give them both a big hug.  One of these days.