December evenings don't have to be cold in the deserts of Arizona. This particular evening wasn't bad at all. I was only wearing a light sweater, and was plenty warm. Sad, really, because we had been to a ward Christmas party, and it would have felt more in keeping with the holidays if we had needed to be bundled up to keep the chill out. I didn't go to the party with my family that year, I went with a date. A special date.
I had been in love with Gene for a long time, he was so cute! And nice. I would have loved it if he was my boy friend, but so far it hadn't happened. Since summer, about once a month Gene asked me out, and I was the happiest girl in town. Then weeks would go by without a word from him, and I would decide he wasn't interested in me, until the next time he called. I was interested in him, though. Man, was I interested!
I had changed my life around for Gene. Instead of driving straight down University Drive, the street just around the corner from my house, and all the way into Tempe and Arizona State University where I was a student, I took the longer route, through the subdivision and neighborhoods south of our house, just so I could drive by Gene's house each morning and evening. I wouldn't turn my head, but my eyes always looked to the east to see if his car was in the driveway. Three times a week I got up two hours earlier, just so I could go to an early morning scripture study group we started that fall. Yes, I came up with the idea and talked the other young adults in our ward into getting together at six o'clock in the morning on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, to study. Why? So I could see Gene, of course. I had really gone out on a limb in November, when I suggested to some of my girl friends that we ought to put together a blind date night. Each of us would fix up someone else with a date we thought they would like, then we would have a party. Of course, I worked it out so that my girlfriend fixed me up with Gene, and I fixed her up with the boy she liked. We had so much fun! Even my Christmas present this year was due to Gene. I had asked mom and dad for a new set of scriptures, with a green leather case. You would never guess what color scriptures Gene had. I had it pretty bad, I guess.
Well, on this particular night Gene had asked me to go to the ward Christmas Party with him. I was elated, of course. We went, and had a good time. Afterwards, mom and dad and my little brother and sisters stayed to help clean up, but mom put a plate of food together to send home to one of our neighbors who had been unable to go to the party. She asked Gene and I to drop it off at their house. Of course I said yes, anything to spend a little more time with Gene. We dropped the plate of food off, then Gene took me home.
Mom and Dad still weren't back, it always took forever to clean up after a ward party. Gene got out of his car, walked around and opened my door for me, and walked me up the sidewalk to my front door. We were chatting a little, but not too much. I always seemed to be tongue tied when I was around any boys, and although I tried to think of things to say I still wasn't very good at it. Looking back, Gene wasn't very loquacious either. I wonder if he was always as nervous as I? When we got to the front door we stood on the porch for a few minutes, still visiting.
I can see the porch in my mind, even now. We had a fast growing kind of ivy that covered the white, brick walls of our house. It trailed from one side of the porch to the other, hanging down over the doorway and creating a sort of frame for the door. There was one porch light beside the door, not very bright, so behind the ivy it was still shadowy and kind of romantic. I was busy trying to think of interesting things to say to Gene. I turned my head to the side, looking at something, when to my amazement he leaned forward to kiss me. Because I had turned my head his lips just grazed along the side of my cheek. How embarrassing! If only I'd been sophisticated and sure of myself I would have turned back and put my lips in the right place so he could try again, but alas! I didn't know how to be sophisticated! All I knew how to do was be embarrassed.
Poor Gene. Did he think I didn't want him to kiss me? I hope not. Perhaps it was his first kiss, too, because he didn't seem to know what to do either. I giggled self consiously, he laughed a little, and we both said good night. I quickly turned to open the front door and escape, only to discover that it was locked! Locked? Who locked their doors in Mesa back in those days? I was mortified! Of course I didn't have a house key, I'd never needed one before, so I had to say goodby to Gene again, and as he walked back down the sidewalk to his car I hurried along the front of the house, around the corner, and almost ran around the house to the back door, hitting the wall with my fist all the way, exlaiming, "Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! Why do I have to be so dumb?"
I let myself in the back door, which of course was not locked, and ran into my bedroom where I threw myself on my bed and wished with all my might that I was not such a naive little girl who didn't even know how to go about having her first kiss. Oh, well, we live and learn, right. But I wonder sometimes how my life would have been different if only I had not been so dumb?
No comments:
Post a Comment