Lie-Clocks

So, I substituted at the high school today, and spent the day telling stories.  (It's easier to keep students under control when you are standing at the front of the room, telling jokes, than it is when they are supposed to be sitting quietly at their desks working.)  I don't have any voice left now, but we had a good time.  Want to hear one of the stories?  (It's ok if you don't, I don't have to keep you on task, and I won't even know if you stop reading.)  So here goes......

Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven.  Saint Peter met her at the Pearly Gates, and she saw a wall of clocks behind him. 

"What are all those clocks?" she asked.

"Those are the Lie-Clocks," he answered.  "Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock.  Every time you tell a lie the hands on your clock move."

"Oh," said Hilary.  "Whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's clock," said Saint Peter.  "The hands on that clock have never moved, because she has never told a single lie."

"Wow," said Hilary.  "Whose clock is that?" 

"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock," replied Saint Peter.  "See, the hands on that clock have only moved twice.  Abe only told two lies in his whole life."

Hillary was really impressed.  "But, where's Bill's clock?" she asked.

"Oh, Bill's clock is in the Lord's office," said Saint Peter.  "He's using it for a ceiling fan."