Getting to Know Him

November 29, 1987   Sunday, 8:00 pm

Dear Journal,
      Are you ready for another installment of the saga of singledom?  (Sounds like a good Soap Opera, doesn't it?)
      First of all, I'm sorry it's been so long since I wrote.  I've been so tired lately.  But you'll never guess what happened last night! I went on my first ….........

The doorbell rang, so I got up from the kitchen table and went to answer it.  It was Garth!  He'd driven around the block fifteen times before he got up the courage to come in! 

We'd officially met the night before, having dinner at his brother's house. I'd wondered if he was going to call me again but I sure hadn't expected him to come over so soon!  Garth stayed for a couple of hours and we talked about our backgrounds. We were both raised in Mesa, Garth had actually grown up just around the corner from Grandma Johnson.  We talked about the Gospel, and it was wonderful to hear Garth talk about the Savior as a personal friend.  In fact, the more we talked the happier I got.  He seemed to be exactly the kind of man I'd always wanted to find.  Finally, we talked about our past marriages.  I explained how Sheldon had left me seven months earlier and that our divorce had been final in September.

Garth's story was similar to mine in some ways, but his wife had openly cheated on him, whereas Sheldon had kept his infidelities secret.  Garth said his wife had talked about divorcing him for years, but changed her mind in between affairs.  He had always stood by her, mostly for the sake of his children, but this last time she had told him it was over for good. In the summer she had kicked him out, telling him she didn't want to live with him anymore, so he moved in with his parents. 

"So, how long have you been divorced?" I asked curiously.

"Actually," he hesitated, "we're not divorced yet.  She served me with the papers a couple of months ago, but I haven't done anything with them.  Up until now, I wasn't ready to sign them."

That kind of shocked me.  I'd been real careful to not date or go to single activities until I was officially single.  Was this any different?

The next day I talked with my Bishop and explained the situation.  "Should I date him or not?" I asked.

"He sounds like a really great guy," the Bishop told me warmly, "but you're right about not dating someone unless he's single.  I don't see any harm in you getting to know each other, though.  Just keep it light, doing things with your family and stuff, and don't start dating until his divorce is over."

That sounded like a great plan to me.  Garth had actually asked me to go with him to the Temple that week, so I called him the next day and apologized, but told him I'd better not go since that would probably be called a date.

He was so sweet.  He apologized for putting me in an awkward situation, then sent me flowers with the sweetest note to tell me he was sorry. 

Thus began the most wonderful three months of my life.  It was so much fun to have someone wonderful think I was wonderful, too.  When I dated Gene I'd been head over heals in love with him, but I never knew if he liked me or not.  When I dated Sheldon he swept me off my feet and rushed us into marriage, but he did it because his mom told him I was perfect, not because he thought I was wonderful.  Now, at last, I had met a man who thought I was as great as I thought he was.  It was so nice!