Making Decisions

So, we were engaged, but what next? There were all kinds of decisions and plans to make, but getting married involved more than just Moe and me, it changed the life of our children, too.

Stephen loved Moe from the beginning. The very first night he came to our house, bringing his rope with him, Stephen invited him to move in with us. “I need a dad,” Stephen told Moe as he was leaving that night.

Russell wasn't quite as exuberant, but he also enjoyed the hunting stories, cowboy activities, and the male influence in our heavily feminine household.

Holly was Moe's biggest fan to begin with. It was her phone call that induced him to come over that first night, and she basked in the glow of match-making success.

Alyssa and Linnea were more cautious extending their friendship, but gradually they got used to the idea of Moe. He and Linnea developed their own kind of truce, sparring with each other every time they got together, teasing and one-upping each other in a friendly war of “who's wittier than who?”

When Moe was just a fun guy who came over to visit it was easier on the kids. When he became the “guy who is going to move into our house and become our second dad,” things got more complicated. Still, for the most part, everyone accepted Moe and me getting married pretty well.

There were a lot of issues we needed to resolve, though. For one thing, we had to decide if I would continue teaching school or stay home to be a homemaker again. Moe made a good income for a single guy, but was it enough to support a family of seven? As long as Sheldon made his child support payments on time, we would have that to add to Moe's income, and although he didn't make a great deal of money it was more than I made as a school teacher. I thought it sounded like a good idea for me to retire, but in truth it was a real sacrifice for Moe. He had dreamed of retiring soon, moving up to the mountains, and living there happily ever after in solitude. Instead, I was asking him to move in with a large, noisy family, and to spend years more working hard to provide for us. Talk about a romantic thing to do. The mere fact that he chose me over peace and quiet was amazing.

We also had to decide where we would live. There simply wasn't room for all seven of us to live in Moe's little, two bedroom house in Lehi. Moving the kids out of their schools and away from their friends and family at the same time they were getting used to having a new man in their life also wasn't a very good idea. So, again, Moe sacrificed for us and agreed to move out to Gilbert and in with us, and Mom and Dad when they returned from their mission.

Hardest of all was deciding when to get married. We wanted to get married in the Temple, being sealed for time and eternity, but that meant getting a Temple divorce from my ex-husband first. That took time. I had to write a letter to the Prophet and his councilors explaining why I divorced Sheldon in the first place, and requesting clearance to be sealed to a different man. My bishop also had to send a letter, and get in touch with my first husband, hopefully obtaining his agreement on the Temple divorce. For us, that was not difficult, since Sheldon had married again soon after we got divorced. Still, it took time to gather the necessary letters, send them to Church Headquarters, then wait for the First Presidency to review them and give their permission. My Bishop warned me that the whole thing could take months to be completed, and I was ready to get married now.

Moe was working in the Temple one Thursday evening in the middle of November when the Temple President saw him and pulled him aside to see how things were going with our courtship. By this time, pretty much everyone in the Temple was following our story. Moe explained we were just waiting for my temple clearance to come through before we got married, but it might take some time.

“Why don't you just go ahead and get married, then get sealed when the temple clearance comes through?” the Temple President asked.

“We want to get married in the Temple,” Moe explained, a little surprised the Temple President would propose any other option.

“You can still get married here,” the Temple President assured him. “It will be the same exact ceremony, only instead of marrying you for time and all eternity, it will just be for time. Then when Gale's clearance comes through, you can come back and be sealed for eternity. That's what I would suggest you do.”

Moe called me when he got home that night. “Would you want to do that?” he asked me after explaining what the President had said.

“I think it would be great!” I assured him, “as long as you think it's alright.”

“Well,” Moe told me more cautiously, “it's not what I always thought we'd do, but the Temple President said it's what he would recommend, and it sure would be nice to just go ahead and get married now and get on with life.”

I was thrilled! “Thanksgiving is next week,” I reminded him. “There won't be any school on Thursday or Friday, so it would make a good time to get married.”

Suddenly things were just falling into place.