Uncle Alan's Cousin

Uncle Alan’s Cousin

I am lucky to have many fun relatives. It’s always a kick to sit around and listen to the stories they tell. Uncle Alan is one of my favorite story tellers, especially his stories about Snowflake.

Once he told us about a cousin of his who hit a cat as she was driving into town. She was horrified by what she had done, and pulled her car over to see if the cat was dead. It sure was, but she didn’t want to leave it lying on the road so she got a paper sack out of her trunk and scooped the cat into it.

Now the poor lady was so shook up she decided to stop at a little café and get a drink of pop to settle her nerves. It was a hot day, and not wanting the dead cat to start smelling in her car she took the paper sack and sat it on the hood, then went into the café and ordered her drink. She took it to a little table by the window and sat down.

Pretty soon an older woman came down the sidewalk. She saw the paper sack just sitting on the hood of the car. She looked all around, then grabbed the bag and hurried off. Surprised, Uncle Alan’s cousin wondered what the old lady would think when she discovered what was in the sack she had just stolen. His cousin was even more surprised, though, when the door of the café opened and the old lady walked in, still carrying her stolen bag.

She walked up to the counter, ordered a drink, then went to sit at a table near the door. Uncle Alan’s cousin watched as the old lady set the bag down on the counter, waited for her drink, then quietly opened the paper sack and looked in to see what goodies she had stolen. The old lady took one look, gave a little scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

Uncle Alan’s cousin didn’t know what to do, but the waitress quickly called 911, so his cousin decided maybe she wouldn’t say anything. You can imagine what she thought, though, when the paramedics arrived, picked the old lady up and put her on a stretcher to take out to their ambulance, then grabbed her paper sack and put it on the stretcher, too, to take along with her to the hospital.