Daydreams

I used to love to daydream about living in a mansion on a moor, although I had never seen a moor and had no idea what one really looked like.  Mostly, I was tired of the ugly old desert.  After traveling back east and along the Pacific Coast it was hard to be satisfied with a sandy brown world.  I mean, the desert can be beautiful in the spring when it is covered with orange California poppies, purple lupine, yellow brittlebush, peach globe mallow, pastel cactus flowers, and emerald green spikes of grass growing in the shade, with a background of mountains ranging from amethyst to royal purple, indigo to pale blue, and a deep aquamarine sky arching overhead.  But this was only when the spring was wet and we'd had enough rain, which didn't always happen.  The rest of the year the desert was dusty brown, tan, and dirty white; and very hot.

I liked to imagine what it would be like to stand on a hill above the ocean with a cool breeze blowing my dress and hair, looking down off a Cornish Cliff to the cruel, beautiful sea beating below me against the rocks; or looking behind me forever across a lush green moor covered with broom and lavender and most of all, heather!  I really loved that name!  How pretty I imagined it would be. 

I also wanted to live in a huge house with a fine wonderful husband.  He'd be tall, dark, and very handsome.  Our home would be a cross between a mansion and a castle, with big gardens running down to our very own stream.  We'd have lots of money and servants, and thousands of rooms I didn't have to clean.  The weather would be lovely with lots of rain but not much humidity, and sometimes there would be thick fogs. 

It was so much fun to imagine this world, especially when I was cross and cranky and hot, but I knew it was really just a dream caused by reading too many books.  I still loved it, though.  Sometimes I'd imagine I could build my mansion on the knoll we drove past on the way from our cabin to Young.  Others times I thought I'd be happy just living forever at the cabin, all by myself.  I really didn't think I would ever actually get married, but if I did I thought it would be awesome to marry a forest ranger and live in the woods forever. 

I wonder, do all girls have daydreams like this?  Perhaps whatever life we live in, we dream about living in another.  Forty-five years later I can look back and smile at myself, but I wonder, am I still that little girl inside?